ALLWIN BRIGHT WRITES

“Everybody is special. Everybody. Everybody is a hero, a lover, a fool, a villain. Everybody. Everybody has their story to tell.” ― Alan Moore, V for Vendetta

Category: Uncategorized

THE UNTOLD STORY

Sir hum soch rahe the ki hum  kar kya rahe hain.  Hum writer bannaa chaahthe hain lekin Q.E. ka kaam kar rahe hain technopark mein. Aur roz office aakar computer ke saame baite excel sheets barthe hain. Na to hamaara writing improve ho raha hain sir, na  aage ka koi opportunity mil raha hain. Kab tak aur kaise chalega sir.

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INSPIRED BY HOROSCOPE

If you’re into writing, Scorpio, this is the perfect day to sit down and churn out the words, even if it’s only a letter to a friend. Your imagination is especially vivid, your expression clear and understandable, and your vocabulary skills especially acute. If this is a thesis or article, you may spend hours on it. Don’t worry. It will be that much better for it.

So this was my horoscope for 4th February 2015.

I am not much into horoscopes or astrology. As a matter of fact I don’t believe it at all. But if it inspired you to write something why not.


Hi you beautiful people,
..Sorry for the lack of posts lately. 😦

A lot has happened in the last three or four months….

      1. I went through a six month long desperate, frustrating and depressing Am-I-ever-going-to-get-a-job-offer?’ phase.
      2. And when a job offer came my way I screwed up big time in the telephonic interview and still ended up getting the job offer.
      3. I put in my notice and served a two month notice period. The exit process was not as smooth as I expected it to be. But overall I was happy that I had a graceful exit.
      4. I had my heart-broken yet again. 😦
      5. I lost my Smart phone. 😦 I couldn’t claim theft insurance. It was valid only for a year and I hadn’t renewed my insurance. I paid the price for being absent minded and careless.
      6. I moved to Trivandrum to take up my new job.
      7. I was conned into giving away Rs.1000 for a single day stay in a dirty kitchen that got converted into my room.
      8. My friend and I shared a ride of 250 kms ON my Motorcycle to attend another friend’s wedding and a reunion. One hell of a ride it was.
      9. And I got completely hammered at his bachelor party.
      10. I am happy with my new job. I have a wonderful team. I have a super-friendly and a super-cool person as my project lead.
      11. I am finally learning to be on my own.
      12. I am slowly shedding my image of being a nervous wreck and a socially awkward person. 🙂
      13. I like it here at Trivandrum. From the shopkeepers to the auto drivers to the average person walking down the street, everyone is lovely and friendly.

For those who don’t know me I’ve never been the type of person who gets out of a comfort zone but I’ve put myself out of my comfort zone more in the last few months than I ever have. I’ve had my ups and downs, highs and lows.

I made a lot of mistakes. And I’ll continue making glorious, amazing mistakes. I’ll learn, push myself, change myself and change my world.

Now that I have pretty much settled down here. I hope to write often. Wish me luck.

OF STAYING UP ALL NIGHT CRYING

If you’ve been up all night and cried till you have no more tears left in you – you will know that there comes in the end a sort of quietness. You feel as if nothing was ever going to happen again.

C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Been there and done that.

GLORIOUS MOMENTS OF MY LIFE

Back in school we used to play our very  own version of scrabble drawing grid of squares with pencils in our rough notebooks. We had different rules.  We’d play the game under the desk during classes and whenever we had free periods. We were so obsessed that sometimes we’d even bunk the PT periods to play this game. We had a scrabble tournament of sorts and I had somehow managed to reach the finals of this coveted tournament.

I don’t exactly remember how grid of squares we had for the finals but the game lasted for three days. I was the under dog. My opponent (who was and who still is a good friend of mine) was the favorite to win the game. I thought he’d beat me hands down. He almost did. He was way ahead of me at the end of the second day. He had a lead of 20 odd points. But as the game progressed to the third day I scored some crucial points thus narrowing the difference between our scores. My adrenaline was pumping in. At this point I sensed that may be I could win this game. I was slowly inching closer and closer. During the final moments of the game I almost had the support of the entire class. People tend to root for the underdog. Don’t they? I eventually snatched a victory from the jaws of defeat. I WON! It was one of the biggest and one of the best celebrations I’ve ever had in my life.


I was one of my maths teacher’s favorite student in class X. It was not because I scored good marks in the subject. Though I liked the subject very much I sucked at math. I’ve hardly scored above 60 in any of my maths examinations. It was because he thought I had a good handwriting. So we had this II Pre-Board examination and I’d solved one of the problems in the examination which no other student had solved it correctly except for a girl. Guys in class had a major crush on her. I am not going to tell you anything more about this girl. Come on! This is about glorious moments of MY LIFE! Okay? Getting back. Not even the book worms and the nerds who  solved math problems all the time had solved that problem. It was a simple problem. But because I was one of my math teacher’s favorite students he made a big deal out of it. I’d been an average student all my life. Its not every day that an average student like me got to be popular.  I totally enjoyed the attention I was getting. I felt like a star who shot to fame overnight.

However all this was short-lived because I flunked in the III Pre-Board examination.  So much for solving one math problem correctly in the examination. By the way I’d scored 53/100 in the II Pre-Board.


I scored a century as a kid once in a plastic ball cricket match. It was very very special. I am sure if I live till I have grand children I’ll tell them this story.


I bowled the last over of a cricket  match in college and defended 7 runs. I also picked up two wickets in the match. I had one of the batsman out bowled.  I had his leg stump uprooted. Terrific sight for any fast bowler.


Our college once bagged the overall winners trophy at Techmeet, an Inter College competition hosted by Fatima college, Madurai. I’d played a big part in it. The fact that it was hosted by a college for women made it even more special.


Well this is as far as I could remember…

What are your glorious of moments of life? You remember any?

 

LAMENT

Shattered mirror

Tattered photograph

Forsaken love

Failed friendships

Broken trust

Lost hopes

Insomniac nights

Teary eyes

Unfulfilled dreams

Unanswered prayers

 

A voice within

‘Just hang in there, you’ll be fine’

But deep down, I know

I have no reason to believe

I know that I don’t

JAMES… EARN THIS. EARN IT.

A good friend of mine messaged me on Skype this evening. He told me that Major Mukund Varadarajan incident had left him disturbed. Ignorant me had no idea of what and about whom he was talking about. Lately I haven’t been following the news very much. There is no TV at my home. However that didn’t stop me following the IPL or watching the IIFA awards in YouTube. I have a Laptop you see.

A little later I realized that it was Army Major Mukund Varadarajan he was talking about. He’d died fighting for the country. I felt so ashamed of myself. I didn’t know about a Martyr who had sacrificed his life protecting us. Whereas I knew who had taken greatest catch of the IPL this season. I knew that Deepika Padukone won the best actress award for her performance in Chennai Express. And its people like me who form the so-called well-informed and well-educated citizens of this country. 😦

One could point out fingers on mainstream media. It never reports such sacrifices in detail. We only get to see what they report. It’s sad that more often than not its Cricket and Bollywood that hogs the limelight. But come to think of it. Isn’t it as much our fault? Isn’t it as much as our responsibility as that of the mainstream media?

Why do we tend to take an army person or a police losing his life protecting people so lightly? Why is it just another news for us?

There’s a quote from the movie ‘Saving Private Ryan’ where Captain H Miller says his dying words, to Private Ryan

James…. Earn this. Earn it.

These words have been kind of reverberating in my head. That’s how I am we should be feeling at the moment. Like Private James Francis Ryan. Major Mukund Varadarajan and many others like him have traded their lives for each and every Private Ryan in us. So we better be worth it. He has left behind a bereaved family and a three-year old daughter. His wife Indu has written a heart wrenching poem. My eyes welled up with tears reading this. My heart goes out to his family. God be with them.

There lived a man who loved me with all his heart…

There lived a man who fathered my child….

There lived a man who believed in integrity….

There lived a man who loved his profession….

There lived a man who never feigned to be a hero….

There lived a man who was my soul….

There lived a man with a heart full of generosity…

There lived a man who revealed all to me….

There lived a man who loved me with his life…..

But …..now I wait…..

for he is with god..

I know this for sure..

One day I will meet him…

I know this for sure…

And he will give me that warm strong hug of his

I know this for sure…

And I will not complain that I can’t breathe

I know this for sure

You can hug me..hug me all you want….

Would it be just enough to have a Facebook page for a man like him with say a 1000 odd likes and comments such as – ‘We salute you’, ‘RIP major’, ‘Brave Martyr’ etc. when it really doesn’t come from the bottom of our hearts.

This man deserves a much bigger tribute than that. Don’t you think so?

READ, READ, READ…

Read, read, read. Read everything — trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You’ll absorb it.

Then write. If it’s good, you’ll find out. If it’s not, throw it out of the window.

— William Faulkner

Faulkner couldn’t have been wrong. Could he? So I read, read, read, read. I then write. And I throw reams out of the window. 🙂

DEAR BROTHERS AND SISTERS FROM NE, I AM SORRY…

Delhi is in the news for the wrong reasons, yet again. Nido Tania, an 18-year-old student from Arunachal Pradesh, got beaten up mercilessly in a busy south Delhi market – so much so that it apparently led to his death.

It makes me shudder to think that nobody — not a single person — was around to try and rescue him, when he was being beaten up.

Have we become so apathetic, disaffected, hypocritical, and selfish?

Why did a young student like Nido have to die such a brutal death?

Because he looked different?

Because he had a wacky hairstyle?

Because he reacted by breaking the glass door, in a moment of rage?

Because he hailed from the north-eastern part of this great country?

Something as precious as human life is lost for reasons such as these. I find it hard to digest this very fact.

You don’t get to choose your place of birth or your facial features. Why then this blatant display of outright racism towards them?

It makes me sick to the core that there are some who argue that “Nido should have been tolerant to mild teasing. That “by reacting, he only invited his own death”. I don’t understand this at all.

What’s wrong with people? Should one be spineless? For God’s sake, can you please stop the victim-blaming? It would do us a world of good.

I have been to the north-east recently. Hailing from South India, I looked different there. But, nobody treated me like an alien. Nobody stared at me.

In fact people welcomed me with open arms. They were nice people to talk to. They treated me with respect. Treat them the same way. Is that too much they are asking for?

Dear north-eastern brothers and sisters of mine,

I apologize on behalf of the fellow Indians, who have been nasty and horrible to you; I apologize for the humiliating discrimination meted out to you. I apologize that we, Indians, have been racist to the core.

I, for one, do not advocate tolerance to racial discrimination of any sort. I want you to know that I stand by you and I support your fight. I am sure there are many like me.

This post is a part of #WriteAgainstDiscrimination campaign initiated by an online news website SaddaHaq 

Link to the article

https://www.saddahaq.com/politics/writeagainstdiscrimination/dear-brothers-and-sisters-from-ne-i-am-sorry

BUCKET LIST

I make TO-DO lists all the time! I love crossing things off a list. But, I’ve never ever created a Bucket List.  Inspired by a blog I silently stalk and greatly admire, I decided to create one for this year. I signed up myself for the Day Zero Project.

Here’s how it works:

The Challenge:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (i.e. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (i.e. represent some amount of work on your part).

Why 1001 Days? 
Many people have created lists in the past – frequently simple challenges such as New Year’s resolutions or a ‘Bucket List’. The key to beating  procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips, study semesters, or outdoor activities.

I seriously hope that I am able to pull off all my bucket list items.

Wish me a lot of luck with my list. I’ll need it.

So here it goes.

  1. Go on a date
  2. Blow an ear-piercing whistle with fingers
  3. Complete writing hundred pages with my left hand
  4. Read 50 books
  5. Get an iPhone (even an iPod would do)
  6. Make an iTunes playlist of 101 A.R. Rahman songs
  7. Learn Spanish
  8. Travel in a flight
  9. Make a list of the top 5 people who have positively influenced you and write them all letters
  10. Watch a whole season of the TV series ’24’ in real time.
  11. Ride on motor bike from Coimbatore to Madurai
  12. Play a street cricket match with kids
  13. Learn to read and write Tamil (Yes, the language is my mother tongue. And its a shame that I am not fluent in reading and writing)
  14. Learn to spin a top
  15. Fly a Kite
  16. Get hammered
  17. Go on a long ride without a destination
  18. Secretly leave presents for Christmas
  19. Have someone listen to me playing air guitar
  20. Make an omelet
  21. Call in sick to work when I am not
  22. Stick up a poster in my room
  23. Send a surprise birthday gift
  24. Sign up to become an organ donor
  25. Have a pillow fight
  26. Learn to blow a bubble with chewing gum
  27. Own a collection of 50 books. (eBooks don’t count)
  28. Ride my motor cycle at more than 100 kmph
  29. Watch 50 Kamal Haasan movies. Start afresh. (3/50)
  30. Ride Yamaha RX100
  31. Befriend 10 new bloggers
  32. Write at least one blog-post every month for a year
  33. Be an early riser for a month. (Early meaning 6:00 a.m. in the morning)
  34. Have someone eat Dosas prepared by me
  35. Gain weight
  36. Get stuffs in my laptop completely organized and accessible
  37. Spring-clean home all by myself
  38. Create a custom decal and use it on my motor bike
  39. Stay up all night
  40. Finish reading a book that is over 200 pages in a couple of days
  41. Get drenched in rain
  42. Sleep under stars
  43. Own a charm key chain
  44. Help someone else’s big wish come true
  45. Sleep until noon
  46. Watch every single episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S  from start to finish
  47. Have a movie marathon
  48. Send a message in a bottle
  49. Window shop at every store in a Mall
  50. List 100 things that make me happy
  51. Make someone smile
  52. Laugh until it hurts
  53. Read the Bible from cover to cover
  54. Write a letter to Santa Claus
  55. Quit a bad habit
  56. Write in a journal daily for a year
  57. Turn off Internet at home for seven days
  58. Write a letter to myself to open it in 10 years
  59. Watch every movie on the imdb top 250 list
  60. Read ‘The Hobbit’
  61. Read ‘The Lord of the rings’ Trilogy
  62. Learn the basics of Photoshop
  63. Write a poem
  64. Take up an online writing course
  65. Learn how to brew tea perfectly
  66. Own a collection of 50 Ilaiyaraaja music albums
  67. Listen to an audio-book
  68. Update my Resume
  69. Buy a laptop from my hard-earned money
  70. Buy a coffee mug
  71. Take up a 30 day challenge
  72. Memorize a poem
  73. Celebrate my ‘half’ birthday
  74. Play Frisbee
  75. Push all the buttons in an elevator
  76. Go to the cinemas to see a horror movie and scream during moments that aren’t scary
  77. See 10 classic movies
  78. Beat a video game
  79. Find how many tequila shots it takes for me get really drunk
  80. Write a letter in another language
  81. Go to a concert
  82. See three movies at a cinema in a day
  83. Spend an entire day watching the extended version of all the three Lord of the Rings movies back-to-back-to-back
  84. Leave an inspirational note or a letter in someone’s book for them to find
  85. Make an infant laugh or smile
  86. Listen to an elderly person talk
  87. Sing a song over the phone
  88. Say yes to everything for a day
  89. Drink Vodka again
  90. Eat cotton candy
  91. Buy something of amazon.com
  92. Lie in bed all day
  93. List my top 100 favorite quotes from movies
  94. Write a haiku
  95. See first day, first show of a Kamal Haasan movie
  96. Read all posts of any 10 blogs I follow from the beginning
  97. Learn to cook
  98. Copy poems I like into my journal
  99. Try meditation
  100. Start a book of quotes that mean something to me
  101. Watch ‘The Bucket list’

The count down has begun! 1001 days to go. 🙂

NEW YEAR’S HANGOVER

Its the last day of the year.  And I have office today.  I am all dressed up and ready to go. But, there is this dilemma whether to go to work or to call in sick and stay at home watching movies. Heart wants to stay at home but, mind won’t listen. I run into my friend seeking advice. He advises me to listen to the heart and tell my mind to shut the fuck up. I kick off my shoes. The shoes fly to different corners of the room. Heart wins. It feels so liberating.  I don’t even call in sick to work. To hell with work.  To hell with office. 

I hangout with my friend in the virtual world for quite sometime. We talk until we run out of things to talk about. And I slip off for a blissful nap.

I wake up from my nap really confused. What time is it? Hell, Did I miss the new year? No I didn’t. Its still 31st December 2013. Its only six in evening.

We’re just a few hours away from the new year! The countdown for the new year has begun already. The world is getting ready to welcome the new year. While I am all alone staring at the ceiling with a blank mind. After wandering around in  a wonderland for long enough I pause and reflect on the  year that has gone by.

In every way, 2013 has been the most eventful year of my entire life. Its been a good year for me. I’ve learnt more this year than I ever have in my whole life.

2013 HIGHLIGHTS

MY FIRST MOTOR CYCLE – ‘THE BLACK STALLION’

One of the major things that happened this year, was the fact that I got my first ever motor cycle. It was a Honda Unicorn, my dream. I call him ‘Black Stallion’. Cool isn’t it?

My experiences with riding the bike were not all that good though. I didn’t fully know how to ride a geared bike. I met with accidents every now and then.  I’d let my engine get switched off at the wrong places. Picture this – The traffic lights have turned green and I am struck. I am unable to figure out how to start the engine. Vehicles behind me honking incessantly making me more nervous. How embarrassing ?

Not only that I laid my bike twice at the parking lot.  Once it created a huge dent to the petrol tank.

But then how many people learn to ride a bike without getting hurt? Not many right? May be I met with more number of accidents than others normally did.  Quiet understandable given the fact that I am a klutz.

I learned to ride eventually. I can now handle my bike reasonably well. And I think it was worth the embarrassment, accidents and the dents and scratches my bike incurred.

LIVING ALONE AND STAYING AWAY FROM FAMILY

If learning to ride a geared bike was a big challenge to me. This was nothing less.  I’ve stayed away from my family in the past.  It was nothing new to me. But, back then I had my best friends as my room-mates. But this time, I had to stay all alone. It made a world of difference. This was the first time I was completely on my own. Living alone had its perks. It meant unlimited freedom and privacy. There were no nagging obligations to cleanliness, to schedule etc. I could be my real self – Insane, Irresponsible and Lazy…

Having said that there have also been days where I’ve spent feeling lonely and isolated, days where I’ve longed to talk to someone (for some reason facebook and other social networking sites didn’t seem to help), days where I’ve been desperate to get drunk, days where I’ve cried myself to sleep, days where I’ve missed my family like crazy… I could go on. But the point is even for a person like me who prefers to spend most of the time alone, rather than with friends, living alone sometimes sucked. Perhaps its human to long for companionship. Perhaps its wired into our systems.

BIRTHDAY GIFT – A SMART PHONE

Received a smart phone as a gift for this Birthday from Mom and Sister. I love my smart phone.

PART TIME TEACHING JOB

I took up a part time job as a Hindi teacher this year. I am not that well versed in  Hindi, just good enough to be teaching ABCs of the language. I teach Hindi to students of Class VI to IX. I work on alternate days – Monday, Wednesday and Friday and  I have classes only during the forenoon. I head back for my day job after that. I was ridiculously lucky that everything fell in place for me to take up this job. Initially I found the whole teaching experience to be immensely satisfying.

But I’ve been contemplating of quitting my part time job lately. Its not that I don’t want to teach anymore. I really love teaching! I still do. Its just that I am finding teaching exhausting these days. It bogs me down. I have to take classes continuously. (4 hours on the trot). I get a break in between. It’s just a 10 minute break and I can hardly have a cup of tea during the break. After the classes I have to rush to my office. I leave for work at 8:30 a.m. in the morning and return back somewhere around mid-night. I often skip my breakfast because I have to rush to school. Of course its only on alternate days but still it takes a toll on me. After taking up the job I’ve realized that I’ve messed up sleep schedule and eating habits.  Most of all I don’t find time for myself.  It looks too overwhelming for me. But, I still do not know if I am taking the right decision. I am confused. Terribly confused.

MET MY FRIEND SUBH TWICE THIS YEAR 

I find I’m so excited I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it is the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend, and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.

Ellis Boyd ‘Red’ Redding, Shawshank Redemption

This was exactly how I felt before my trip to Hyderabad. I was so excited to meet Subh for the  first time in real life.

He was the first to see and recognize me. It didn’t take long for me to recognize him either. He was exactly how I had pictured him. A firm handshake and gentle hug. I pinched myself. No, this was not a dream.

Subh is such a keen listener. I talked to him about my college, family, job, friends etc. He listened to all of it.  Sometimes that is all you need. Somebody to listen to you.

At 3:00 a.m. in the morning I ask him if he is feeling sleepy. To which he replies we’ll talk.  He listens to everything with such great patience. And we went on till 5:00 a.m.

I realized that I’d found a gem of a friend in Subh.

The second time we planned for such a trip it got bigger and better. It was to Guwahati, his hometown.

I took a 10 day long leave, packed my bags and left to Hyderabad. From Hyderabad me and Subh travelled together to Guwahati. It was awesome.

Maa (Subh’s Mom) and Baba (Subh’s Father) made me feel completely at home. Despite the cultural and language differences  they accepted me wholeheartedly.

And I met Mitali, Subh’s girlfriend. She happens to be one of sweetest girls I’ve ever met. Somehow, I feel like she’s become more of a little sister in my life.

I missed all of them so badly that I was absolutely distraught when I left Guwahati.

Five days… I keep asking myself even now – Was it only for I five days I stayed there? Why did five days feel like it was a lifetime?

Thank you Subh for all the memories. I’ll treasure them for my lifetime.

We’ve planned yet another trip. This time it will be Subh coming to Coimbatore and to Madurai…  I just can’t wait.

I am counting days… 🙂

BEFRIENDING INCREDIBLE PEOPLE THROUGH THIS BLOG

I’ve befriended so many incredible people this year through this blog. They’ve all made my life better by appreciating me, encouraging me and inspiring me to be a better writer than what I am really.

This blog means a lot to me. This is a place where I share my vulnerabilities, a place where I am honest,  a place where I don’t fear being laughed at and most importantly this is a place where I feel I belong. Thanks for accepting me the way I am. Thanks for being a part of my blogging journey.

I have confession to make. I feel bad that I haven’t been reading your blogs as much as I’d like to. Life lately has been crazy. But, I am sure I’ll get back to your blog. You’ll soon see my smiling face often popping up in your blog.  🙂

P.S. – Wondering why the post is titled ‘NEW YEAR’S HANG OVER’. I’ll tell you why – I actually intended to post this one on New year’s eve. But, I had a terrible terrible hangover for this new year that I couldn’t post it. Thus, the title.

Seems illogical. But, Never mind.